Free With The Wind

Fly Free Little Bird,

Fly Away.

For Here You Cannot Stay.

Forever In My Heart,

Favorite Little Bird,

Forever In My Heart You Shall Remain.

For You Shall Not Be Deterred.

For The Wings You Seek, The Wings You Gain.

Forgo These Same Stones,

Frankly These Grounds Were Not Meant For Your Bones.

Find Your Peace.

Find Your Home.

Fly Free Little Bird.

Fly Away.

 

-Sookie

 

 

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Tea Time..Time For Tea.

Here we are, November 1st. The day after Halloween. I am sitting with my mug of hot tea, on this rainy day, enduring the pains of being my sons jungle gym for the past few hours. I decided he was such a good boy last night, and today that he should be able to eat a couple of extra overly sugared treats. Oh, how I regret it.. I love making my child happy and seeing him smile;however, I must say that I always remember why I hardly give him sugar just moments after I give him sugar. How is it that toddlers can become such different little creatures the moment sugar touches their hands?

Halloween is now over, but the holidays have only just begun. This is the time, I would say, when a mother’s anxiety becomes apart of the family. So much so that we might as well set out a plate for it and serve it the holiday dinners we spend weeks trying to prepare for. Geeze..just thinking about it is giving me hives.

Last year, I prepared my first Thanksgiving dinner. My fiance and I were so excited that we both just kept inviting people. In total we invited fifteen people, thirteen people and a dog showed up to our very tiny two bedroom apartment. Needless to say, we were a little ahead of ourselves, but it ended up turning out to be a great time. We, with the most certainty, will not be serving thirteen guests and a dog this year. We have decided that we would rather spend the dinner with just the three of us, but that does not mean we are excused from all family functions. I tell you, I am not ready for all the traveling.

Christmas is another story. After Thanksgiving last year, I was not ready to plan a big meal like that again. This year I do not think I want to either. Besides, there is nothing like a home cooked meal you did not have to prepare yourself. But for those who deal with all of the last minute shopping, present wrapping, holiday parties, and cooking I praise anyone who still has the will to live afterwards.

If you are like me, the month of December means more than just Christmas. For my family and I, it means planning for two birthdays. J’s birthday is at the beginning of the month and our son’s birthday is in the middle of the month. Being that my little billy goat’s birthday is so close to Christmas, we decided to buy all of his presents together and only pick out three he can open on his birthday. Have you noticed how expensive wrapping paper can get? Sorry, Bub, looks like Christmas wrapping paper for your birthday again this year.

With my drink in hand and my son on my shoulders, I thank you for joining my blog. I wish you the best of nights. As always, until we meet again..

-Sookie

Long time no read…hello again.

          Ahh, a moment to pretend that I have the slightest idea what I am going to write about. So with a drink in hand, my water, lets get started.

          I recently made the decision to go back to school to pursue a nursing degree. I LOVE learning and going through the works of being a student again. However, learning to juggle the demands of my everyday life and college together have been a whole new learning experience for me. I chose to take my core classes online because I thought it would make things easier; it turns out to be just much more convenient. I am grateful for the experience; getting my degree and beginning my career, as a registered nurse, will allow me to to contribute to taking care of my family for years to come.

With the new found responsibility, I find myself to be much more tired than usual, hence why I have not written a blog some time…too long perhaps. Between all of my classes, I have 7 papers due between a two week period. I am constantly typing. I thought that all the constant writing would have inspired me more, but it has done quite the opposite. It has taken all of my creativity. Only for now though.

Writing is my passion. I hope to continue making posts weekly. Let’s just hope that “recreational” creativity comes back soon.

It’s Holiday season, yay….! We have already attended one family reunion, but I am excited to continue seeing more of our relatives. I am also looking forward for Halloween to be over with so we can get to the best holiday of the year, THANKSGIVING. That is the one day I look forward to the most. I get to eat all of my favorite foods, on the same plate, multiple times in one session, and not feel guilty about it. I love the holiday so much, I prepared 90% of Thanksgiving dinner and invited thirteen people into my very tiny apartment. It was the most amazing time. I most certainly will not being that again this year though..ha. J and I have decided to do a thanksgiving meal with just our little family. However, we intend on visiting everyone before hand.

My little family and I are also currently working toward a dream of hours to relocate to a different state entirely. We hope to do that with the next year. I have mixed feelings about the move. It will be hard, and challenges will present themselves; nevertheless, we are excited and ready to start our journey. I am thankful that our families are supporting us. We will miss them terribly, along with our good friends. This will be a beneficial experience for both my fiance and myself though. Their support means so much to us.

Thank you for tuning in to my hurried update.

Until we meet again,

S.

I Sent My Child To bed Without Brushing his Teeth.

It’s 1:37 am. I am sitting motionless on my couch, covered in everything from snot to three different meals from today. I’m contemplating just falling asleep right where I sit, but I still have to find the strength to take care of myself and get to bed. I’m just too exhausted. Defeated, if you will. To describe my day visually: imagine a turtle drawing scribbles on a piece of sandpaper whilst screaming to the top of his lungs. Poky and complete mayhem.

I wake up at 6 am every morning. I didn’t sleep so great lastnight, so I wanted to have a nice cup of coffee to give me boost. This is what started turning the wheels. Our neighbor’s cat snuck in lastnight, again. Coincidentally, my sugar (the good stuff I prefer in my coffee) was all over the floor. The. Entire. Container. So there goes my coffee, and now I’m cleaning sugar at six in the morning caused by a cat that doesn’t even belong to me. But I am hopeful this day can still be great so I clean up real quick and let the cat out. By this time my son has heard that I was awake and is fussing in his room. I open his door and immediately realize how angry I am at my neighbor’s cat for spilling my sugar and ruining my coffee because I walked into a dirty diaper scene. Poop everywhere. The walls touching his crib were covered, his clothes, his bed, the diaper is on the floor, and poop stuck in the carpet. How? How does a child manage to get poop everywhere? The battle has begun, me vs. this day. I run to the bath tub to start filling it with water and stop dead in my tracks. Not only did that sweet ‘ole kitty spill my sugar, he decided to pee in my bath tub too.. Breathe, I tell myself. Just a bad start. I don’t really have the time to bleach my tub, I go get my boy and stand him above where the spot was, turn the shower on and start to attempt cleaning the poop off of him. My son usually loves taking a bath or even a shower but today, of course today, he decides he doesn’t want to shower. On top of trying to not vomit and trying to keep him from sitting where the cat pee was, i had to keep him from trying to climb out of the tub. There is water everywhere and I can feel my frustration rise higher and higher, my son has now started to whine and throw a fit.. I felt like the bathing process was never going to end but it finally did. I got him dressed and put in his highchair to start breakfast. I’ll get to the messy room when he is occupied with food, I told myself. I decided on something quick. Eggs, yogurt, fruit and a cup of milk. Simple, fast, and filling. Thank goodness breakfast went well because he is completely content , which gave me time to clean his diaper massacre in the bedroom. I’ll spare you the details but let’s say it took atleast a good two hours with several breaks and my fiancé tending to our son to get it finished. After that was all said and done, it was about 10:20 am. Just 40 minutes before my son’s nap time. Which I was to soon find out wasn’t happening. He decided, with his idependant two year old self, that he was NOT taking a nap today.  He was going to stay up and run around the house like a mad man. Breathe..just breathe. I’m keeping my cool because he is just two and these things happen sometimes..just breathe. Since he chose to not sleep, I chose to take him outside to play and exert some of his energy out. Well we get outside and there is trash EVERYWHERE. Neighbors. Again. So our usual spot was out of the question. I had to go to the grocery store anyway, so it wouldn’t hurt to take him to the park. So I thought. We weren’t even at the park for FIVE minutes whenever my son falls and busts his lip wide open, blood running down his face and dripping on his clean white(of course I chose white) shirt. I usually bring extra clothes everywhere we go, but today I did not. I was in a hurry, which means i have to go all the way back home to change his clothes. We do that and get his poor lip fixed up and head for the store. This was a terrible idea.. What was I thinking taking an already cranky toddler into a store? He has a full fledged meltdown in the middle of the store. What does a mother do in a situation like this? Discipline your child and get called a horrible mother or do nothing but try and console them and get told to discipline him and he wouldn’t act this way? I chose to console him and talk to him. Long-behold an older couple walked up to me with my screaming child in my arms and told me I shouldn’t have brought him here and that it was bad judgment to bring my screaming baby into a store full of people. Like I knew he would have a meltdown, right? They also expressed to me they were leaving because of my one child in this great big store. I simply told them, “God bless you for your ignorance” and I walked away. There was no need to argue with them, but I must admit I didn’t finish my shopping and left the store.

When we got home it was lunch time, I get it cooked and him fed. After lunch, I clean up and had my son coloring for “quite” time. Whew, I thought. I am going to get a minute for a break. Nope. No break. Somehow, in the span of two minutes, my son found a permanent marker and started coloring the walls of his bedroom. At this point I am ready to give up and just let him go to town with the marker, but we rent our home and our annual inspections are coming up so that cannot happen. I put a movie on(yes my child watches TV). I get to cleaning the mess and remembered I used all of my cleaner from earlier to clean the poop! Oh Lord please have mercy! I call out. Fast forward a little, and my fiancé got off work. He worked a half shift today which made me feel a little better. He occupies our son long enough for me to make dinner. Why I chose spaghetti for dinner, I’ll never know. When we were all full and finished eating, my son reaches across the table and dumps the rest of spaghetti on the table and starts playing with it. Which was alot of spaghetti left, I would like to add. I start breaking down. My fiancé is confused and not sure what to say. I tell him it’s just been a rough day, he offers to clean the mess while I take the baby in for a bath, (the pee was cleaned by this point). I get him out of the tub and into his pajamas. I got his tooth brush and put tooth paste on it and he decides the toilet needed to be cleaned. Ugh, okay I get out an extra tooth brush and put toothpaste on it. This time he throws it in the toilet.. Its already passed his bedtime. My fiancé already went to bed because he had to work early the next day. Completely fed up, I put my son to bed without brushing his teeth. I tried anyway. He screamed, kicked and knocked on the wall for two hours before finally giving up and passing out(with me going in there every 15 minutes to calm him). After he finally gave in, I had to clean up the house and get some laundry finished.

Today was not my day at all. It’s one 1:37 am. I finally sit down and I bawl my eyes out. I feel like I have completely failed as a mother. I am defeated. Days like today, show me how much I appreciate the good days. I long for my son’s smile and happy laughs and pray I get that side tomorrow. It’s hard being a mother at times. It’s challenging, to say the least. But none of this can compare to the joy being a mother brings. It’s just one day, tomorrow will be different. Finally saying goodnight, until we meet again.

-Sookie

Intro-My Terrible Two & Me

Hiya! Sookie here. Keeping it short and sweet, I am a mother to one beautiful loving little boy. And a fiancé to the most amazing man. Now my screen title says Sookielou and Her Terrible two. Naturally you would assume I have two children. Well the way I look at it, I definitely feel like I have two children. My fiancé is twenty going on seven the majority of the time. He is my soulmate, but he is about as needy as our actual child. “Honey, where are my shoes?” “Where is my work shirt and nametag?” “What’s for dinner?” Those are just to name a few things I get asked daily. Although he gets on my last nerve, he is my very best friend. We have been together since we were seventeen and I wouldn’t be able to picture my life without him or his neediness. My son..well if you know what it’s like to have a toddler, I needn’t say more. But even though he has normal toddler characteristics, he is the most spectacular little human with the most love to give. I swear he has the biggest heart, sweetest smile, and eyes that light the room. When he laughs my world is okay.

Life with my guys is chaotic, to say the least. I have been blessed with a man that provides for his family so I could be a stay-at-home mother, but I have recently decided to go back to school to pursue a nursing degree. On top of this we have started the “potty training”stage with our son. What even is potty training without a little pee on the floor; however, progress is progress! As a stay-at-home mother my days are always well spent cleaning, cooking, or playing with my little guy. We wake up at 6:30 am every morning, make breakfast, clean up after, and then our day begins. Depending on what time my fiancé has to go to work, the rest of our day is planned out to fit his schedual. We are huge on quality family time so every minute J (my fiancé) doesn’t have to work we are spending it together.

Don’t worry, I am not going to claim to be a perfect mother or woman. I make alot of mistakes daily. I try to stay true to my word, love my boys unconditionally and be an open minded, good hearted regular ‘ole woman. My little family is everything to me, and I am grateful you chose to read my blog. I hope you continue to follow me to see new stories and personal opinions on all sorts of topics. Things will get silly at times and other times I’ll cover serious subjects. Thank you much, and until we meet again!

-Sookie